Lions Blough It, A Never-Ending Rebuild, & NFTucks

Ricky Bobby would be proud. Detroit sports are shakin' n bakin' baby.

Tigers canned a GM, Izzo hung out with Lebron and America is drinking that sweet, sweet Honolulu Blue Kool-Aid via HBO's Hard Knocks.

Won't it be great to finally share our misery on a global scale?

Let's get into it.

Lions Lose Preseason Game But Keep Winning Over The Hearts of America

The Lions lost their first pre-season game in spectacular Lions fashion. Leading 23-20, backup quarterback David Blough fumbled and lost a shotgun snap at Detroit's 36 with two-minutes left. Atlanta scored, we didn't, we lose. You can read a full recap here.

And while it was just pre-season, with third stringers vs third stringers, the way in which they lost was so unsettlingly Lions it kind of made me uncomfortable...

But who cares! Let's talk Hard Knocks baby!

After the Campbell and Hutch show in the first episode, HBO featured more guys and gave us longer play time (what was up with that 40 minute run time in E1?).

Key Takeaways:

• Campbell calls WR Josh Reynolds "Big Smooth, The Serpent of Death"

• Coach Duce Staley is determined to make Swift a superstar

• LB Malcolm "Rodrigo" Rodriguez is a 6th round rookie playing his ass off who the coaches love

• Blough loves his wife, and also might be out of a job

• And our personal favorite: Amon-Ra names every wideout taken before him, this guy embodies Detroit vs Everybody

GM-Less, Winless, & Feeling Hopeless

Avila is out, the team has lost 11 of 14 and our biggest off-season signing is swinging at balls off the ground.

Oh, and Skubal, our best pitcher, just hit the 60-day DL on Friday.

In addition to that, there's a not-so-great clip of owner, Chris Ilitch, not really taking a lot of ownership of the seven-year ongoing nightmare we can't wake up from.

But if we can pull a positive out of the month from hell... 24-year-old, LF, Kerry Carpenter (who hit 30 dingers in 97 games in the minors) got his first homer of his career, in his fourth game. He went 3/4, a triple short of the cycle on Monday (8/15).

And they've won two in a row.

"So Are The Wings Good Now?"

The Wings had/are having the most exciting off-season of any Detroit team since the old Mike Ilitch "I Need A World Series Before I Die" Tigers of the mid-2010's. Now the big question is: where do we stand? Let's not forget, the Atlantic Division is still the toughest in the NHL. 

• Tampa: Back-to-back Cup champs and three-time Cup finalists

• Florida: President Trophy Winners

• Toronto (puke): Powerhouse that can't get out of the first round

• Boston: Always dangerous

Then you have Montreal, Detroit, Ottawa, and Buffalo who all, recently, dwell in the basement.

Max Bultman of The Athletic writes his prediction of the bottom half of the division this year:

But perhaps even more eye-catching was what the Senators did, trading for Alex DeBrincat and Cam Talbot and signing Claude Giroux. Ottawa’s top six forwards now look playoff-caliber.

For that reason, even though I feel the Red Wings will be legitimately improved from a year ago, my best guess is that they’ll finish sixth in the division once again — depending on whether Boston digs itself a hole that’s too deep to crawl out of while Marchand, Grzelcyk and McAvoy recover.

Max goes onto say the Wings will miss the playoffs, but wouldn't label it a disappointment. Me on the other hand, I think they should have a punchers chance at the 8th seed.

"So Are The Wings Pistons Good Now?"

We're kind of doing the same off-season dance with the Pistons that we are with the Wings. Sure, the teams have a different build to them.

The Wings are young-guns mixing with veterans and seem to be more experienced and robust, while the unofficially labeled "Back To Work" Pistons features a core of players with under three years of playing experience.

That's the top 10 guys by salary. Obviously that doesn't include Jaden Ivey, Saddiq, and a few others we're eyeing. Full Roster here. 

But as we know in the NBA, it only take a couple of guys to completely turn the franchise around. So where do these 'Stones stand?

Well according to The Athletic, the Pistons fall under Tier 5: Looking to make the Play-In. This group is ranking 19-25, with the Pistons sitting at 25. This group also includes Portland, New York, Washington, Charlotte, Utah & Sacramento, respectfully.

So it sounds pretty similar, two teams with promising young cores potentially fighting for the final spot in next years playoffs. I'll take it.

U of M, MSU Ranked 8 & 15 in AP Pre-Season Poll, Respectively

NFTuck's Are Here - I Don't Get It But That's Okay

In yet another "what world are we living in" moment, Mel Tucker & Co. has launched NFTucks. I don't really understand NFT's in general, let alone the head football coach of Big Ten school selling them.

Does this help recruiting? Is this what the kids want these days? Who knows. But either way the non-fungible tokens are here.

The best news, all proceeds go to charity. Thank god.

Sparty's season opens up on Friday, September 2nd in East Lansing versus Western Michigan.

Ho-Hum: Izzo Gets 5-Stars, Contract Extension, Pic with Bron

Nothing to see here, just Tom Izzo doing Tom Izzo things.

Izzo agreed to a new contract Thursday that will keep him on the bench as "a Spartan for life," as he promised in 2010.

It also will make him the second highest-paid coach in college basketball, a deal worth nearly $6 million per season. The 67-year-old will receive $3.09 million in supplemental compensation and $400,000 from footwear and apparel provider Nike. Total compensation including airplane use and additional fringe benefits adds up to a yearly compensation package with a value of approximately $6.2 million per year.

This comes at the heels of landing four, top-100 recruits for the 2023 class. You can read all about that here.

Oh, and he did this.

Michigan Ranked 8th In Pre-Season AP Poll, Embracing 'No-Star' Defense, New Coordinators

Michigan has undoubtedly lost some big names on the defensive side of the ball - Aiden Hutchinson, David Ojabo and Daxton Hill, but according to Harbaugh, they are embracing the challenge.

“People are asking, ‘How are you going to replace those stars?’” coach Jim Harbaugh said. “I’ve been part of many teams where the no-star defense was the better defense.” - The Athletic

While the math doesn't really add up there, I can appreciate what Jimbo is going for.